How would you feel if you knew your grandmother falls asleep crying every night, that your mother can’t even fall asleep, your father has had two heart attacks and your dearest bother isn’t getting the attention and help he deserves? What if I told you that you are the cause of that? That would mean that, somehow, you could change all your family’s suffering. Well…you can’t. You so desperately want everything to be normal, to stop the sadness and suffering. It doesn’t work like that. Even if you try as hard as you can, your head won’t allow you to do so. Every family meal causes stress and anxiety because we know what will happen: shouting, begging and fighting. Even though you are going through hell at home, you can’t tell. You just have to put a smile and pretend. Sometimes you wonder if you will ever be able to smile truthfully again.